Anonymous, 20, Essex
as told to Yasmine Blackman
I like to think that there is nothing better than an Earl Grey for when it comes down to matters of the heart. Today was no exception, with both my companion and I being Earl Grey advocates, we managed to sip our way through three cups of tea as she shared her story of heartbreak…
When I started university, the last thing I expected to find was love. In my head I had visions of exciting parties and boozy nights out with my new pals. When I got there it was all those things and more.
On one particular drunken night out I met Roland, a blue eyed rugby player, he was just my type. We chatted over drinks, bonding over life and being unlucky in love, discussing my latest break up and his lying ex. Best of all we were on the same business course!
After that night we were inseparable, and quickly slipped in to a relationship, spending our spare time eating out at romantic restaurants and watching cute, couply films together. Roland was a thoughtful guy who showered me with gifts, helped me with my coursework and doted on me when I was ill. After a string of bad relationships I felt lucky to have him.
Everything was finally perfect; I had a place on an accountancy course, a part time job as a waitress and my loving boyfriend. Just one thing was bothering me. Roland had a lot of female friends and I’d often walk in to his room in halls to find him and a pretty girl laughing and mucking about. I never caught him cheating but I always felt uneasy. Roland made me feel guilty when I doubted him, flying in to a rage and telling me I was his “Only one” and that I was paranoid. I loved Roland though, and I knew he loved me so I tried to reassure myself.
One night me and Roland planned to have a night of dancing and drinking with a few mates. As I slipped in to my little black dress I felt sexy and excited for the big night out, but Roland didn’t share my enthusiasm. “I’m feeling a bit ill babe. Go out and enjoy yourself with the others. I’ll be fine here at your flat.” He said. I didn’t want to leave my poorly bloke at home whilst everyone was out having fun though. “I’ll stay with you.” I said, prepared for a night of doting on my sick fella, but Roland wouldn’t budge. He insisted that I go out and have fun, practically pushing me through the front door! Why not? I thought. I’ll just pop out for a few drinks then head back.
I stumbled home at four in the morning, a few drinks turning in to a few too many, and found Roland awake and looking perkier than when I had left him. “Come here babe,” he said, arms outstretched for a cuddle. I fell in to a happy, drunken sleep in Roland’s arms, just thinking about how lucky I was.
The next morning I was awoken by the sound of Roland’s phone bleeping as he received text after text. My head pounding, I reached over to switch it off when the name Sarah flashed across the screen. Sarah ad I had hit it off during the freshers week of uni. We were good friends. So why was she texting my Roland? Curiosity got the better of me and I clicked on a message. Nothing could have prepared me for what I saw- message after message full of disgusting dirty talk! Sarah wrote about how much she had enjoyed spending the night with my fella whilst I was out. I felt sick to my stomach – my loving Roland had pretended to be ill so he could get me out of the house and sleep with my mate in my bed! Now I understood why he was so eager for me to go out – he didn’t want me to miss out; he wanted his own sordid fun!
Seeing red, I flung Roland’s phone to the floor and grabbed the nearest object – the sky high stilettos I had worn last night – and smacked him as hard as I could across the face leaving an angry red mark! Roland leapt of bed in shock but before he could say a word I raged at him “You cheating rat! I never want to see you again!” and slammed the door in his face.
The thought of Roland cheating on me with my mate in my bed made me feel sick. I texted Roland telling him I wanted him out of my flat, but I couldn’t bear to go back there, so instead I stayed at a mates house.
Over the next few weeks Roland bombarded me with apologetic texts, begging for me to take him back. At first I was furious, but as the weeks slipped by I began to relent. I missed Roland, and before that night we’d had such a good relationship. I decided we should try to give things another go, so me and Roland got back together and took it slowly.
At first things were fine, but as the weeks passed Roland grew distant, and less attentive than before. I had to admit things were just not the same. When my uncle died, he didn’t show me the support I needed. In fact, he decided to go on a lads holiday, not even bothering to call me on the day of my uncles funeral.
I’d had enough, and when he got back from Salou I confronted Roland until he broke down and confessed to sleeping with another girl – he’d been too busy to call me because he’d been cheating on me – again! Furious and heartbroken I ditched Roland for the last time!
It’s been a year now, and I’m dating a really lovely guy whom I trust completely. He has shown me that not all men are rats – I was just unfortunate enough to meet a Roland!